KillJoy_ phases back into existence. Well, more or less. DarkSide: liar Zhor: ...? DarkSide: You're a confused one, aren't you? KillJoy_: DS: Yes, but what's that got to do with anything? Zhor: me? Zhor: confused? DarkSide: No you. The other you. Zhor: damn, he got out of the box again... KillJoy_ grins insanely, showing far *FAR* too many teeth. DarkSide: KJ: You seem to have a few extra molars there. KillJoy_: Those are canines and stuff, fool! DarkSide: Mm-hm. Surre. Zhor: yeah yeah yeah, hear that all the time *** Empress is now known as DrEmpress DrEmpress holds up pliers! Zhor offers to hold down the patient Arsenal gets out the dentist tools. Arsenal charges up the dentist drill, and pops in some Muzak. DrEmpress grabs the Dremel tool Praxxus hides the novacain *** rob` (rbos@204.244.205.8) has joined channel #rift71. rob` heys Arsenal hands DrEmpress the gas-powered Dremel tool. *** Mode change "+o rob`" on #Rift71 by DrEmpress Arsenal: 'lo rob Praxxus: oi rob DrEmpress: just in time rob! KillJoy_ ...'s. Didn't we just do this? DrEmpress hands rob the dental speculum rob` dons a blood-spattered butcher's apron, chunks a large obsidian blade into the wall and takes the proferred instrument. Zhor watchs with interest...from a safe distance and keeping a couple of pieces of furniture between DrEmpress hands the wedges and Mallet to Ars DrEmpress: just use these to get his mouth open DrEmpress: then rob here can shove in the speculum KillJoy_: ... how come I always get operated on? Oh wait... because I almost literally ask for it. ;) DrEmpress: and that'll keep everything spiffy DrEmpress: because you're also an easy patient? Praxxus prepares a blind fold for...the Doc DrEmpress: and can take a joke? rob` clicks on the background music. o/` tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree o/` KillJoy_: DrE: Comes from having a sense of humor, I suppose. KillJoy_: ;) Arsenal grins sadistically. "ANAESTHETIC!" *MALLET!* DrEmpress: unlike some certain other persons? DrEmpress: Ars: nono no anesthetic here :) rob` clicks off the background music. bah, I wanted him to twitch for a while. DrEmpress: just hammer the wedges into his mouth :) KillJoy_ rubs the back of his head... "Ow! That really really hurt!" Zhor: owie...using a mallet for an anaesthetic? DrEmpress: Zhor: SOP DrEmpress: literally :) rob` gives KJ a good dose of smelling salts. Zhor shudders KillJoy_ wrinkles his nose... "I'm not unconscious, rob." Arsenal , once the patient is suitably stunned, uses said mallet to wedge open the mouth wider than is humanly possible. rob`: inserted nasally. KillJoy_: Ohhhh sneck, this is going to be worse than normal, isn't it. Arsenal clicks the background music back on. Zhor shakes with laughter rob` carefully puts in the speculum, careful not to dent things much. Zhor: is much the operative term? DrEmpress picks the first tooth. KillJoy_: . o O (Uh... shouldn't one of you strap me down or something?) Praxxus prepares the heart-paddles...just in case ;) DrEmpress: *Damn, there *are* entirely too many teeth in here!" Arsenal idly chuckles as the video for Steve Martin as the Dentist in LSoH starts playing. Zhor wonders if an EMG would be in order rob`: ha!! DrEmpress: "Einty meeny..." rob`: Ars; eh-men!! %) Arsenal: "Saws-all, Doctor?" rob` has that on CD somewhere here. DrEmpress looks over at Praxx, could you grab those strapps? KillJoy_: "Couf you getf my wishom teef too?" rob` hms.. has Mushnik & Son from the Little Shop Of Horrors Broadway production DrEmpress: Zhor: http://constainia.sandwich.net/IRCsurgeries.html DrEmpress finally picks a tooth. rob`: hey, don't the cavities get filled inside the mouth? Arsenal hands Dr.E. the Saws-All. Zhor: eeeep Zhor still thinks an EMG should be done DrEmpress starts hacking at KJ's right top incisor... Praxxus grabs his boot-straps... DarkSide finds his copy of the Klingon Hamlet.. hee hee hee. Zhor: eeeeep! Hamlet...in klingon.. that'll be real soothing...like two cats on a fence DrEmpress: better than the opera :) DrEmpress looks at rob, hey speaking of which... Arsenal: Klingon Opera... *shudder*& KillJoy_ spends a few crucial seconds figuring out exactly how to react with his mouth wedged open like this.... settles for just clenching his fists tightly enough to draw blood and rolling his eyes and such. DarkSide: Bah. This is Hamlet as it was meant to be read! In the original Klingon! rob`: heyhm? Zhor: Is there a difference? Arsenal: put that in next! DrEmpress: go ahead and stick that on ok? rob` peers at his right hand. Oh! rob` proceeds to do just that. DrEmpress looks at Ars, holds out hand. DrEmpress: "Chisel pls." rob`: chisel.. eep. Zhor wheels in the equipment necessary to run an EMG on the patient KillJoy_ is saved by not knowing offhand wot the sneck an EMG is. Arsenal hands her the #356 chisel. rob`: "EM" is probably "electromagnetic" rob`: Ars; isn't that the nail file? DrEmpress takes it. "#23 Mallet please." *** Zibblsnrt (pstewart@nat197.121.mpoweredpc.net) has joined channel #rift71. Zibblsnrt: hiho Arsenal: no, that's the uber-large chisel. *** Mode change "+o Zibblsnrt" on #Rift71 by DrEmpress Zhor straps the electrodes in the correct places and steps on the pedal, sending a brief electrical jolt through the patient Arsenal hands her the #23 mallet. rob`: Ars; of course.. #357 must be the Mark 1 with the polishing edge. KillJoy_ waves to Zib as much as possible, given his arms being strapped down at the wrists. DrEmpress starts hammering teeth out, via chisel Arsenal: Zhor: I told you three times before... jumper cables go to the ears! Zibblsnrt capably waves back at KJ .. What'd you do? DarkSide: He had too many canines Zhor: Weeeeeeell excuse me! You do it then. Zibblsnrt: DS: Ahh DrEmpress: KillJoy_ grins insanely, showing far *FAR* too many teeth. rob` bounces a rubber bounceyball thing belatedly off PS's forehead hello. DrEmpress: that's why. Zibblsnrt tests rob's tensile strength hello DarkSide: Empress is seeking to correct the problem, as is her particular idiom. Arsenal hooks the jumper cables to KJ's ears, and cranks the power output to "OVERLOAD IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT!" Arsenal: CLEAR! rob` fingersnaps, leaves for a second, returns with a wheelbarrow of gauze and puts it aside for later. Zhor keeps his hands clear, anticipating a spectacular reaction Arsenal hits the "SURGE" button. DrEmpress: "Yeouch!! DAMMIT ARS!! Would you warn me next time?!" KillJoy_ blinks. "Oy... waif..." rob` heys, YOU AREN'T DENTISTS, are you!? DrEmpress is working with metal instruments in his bloody mouth here! Arsenal: "Sorry, doc. Shoulda grounded you." DarkSide: Of course they are, they wouldn't be doing dental surgery if not DrEmpress: and no, I wasn't saying bloody to be emphatic here... KillJoy_ 's eyes roll up in his head as smoke comes off of his body... DrEmpress: "Suction!" rob` takes the vacuumcleanerthingy and applies suction. "Close your mouth." DrEmpress: 'In his *mouth* not his nipples!" DarkSide: *choke* rob`: ... KillJoy_ doesn't do so, the clamps and unconsciousness making it somewhat difficu... ... ... rob`: sorry, m'liege. Easy to confuse those. *cleans up in the mouth area* Zhor: not going there... DrEmpress was having Princess Bride flashbacks rob` hees. rob` flips off the electrodes. Praxxus fixes a ham-on-rye sandwich for the team DrEmpress: only one sandwich? DrEmpress: for all of us? Arsenal gasses up the gas-operated dental drill DarkSide: maybe it's a large one Zhor: golly, that's last long... DrEmpress fishes peices of tooth out of KJ's mouth rob` finishes cleaning up the work area, re-insertes openwedges. Praxxus: heh...I'm fourteen feet tall...how big do you think *I* make a sandwich? *grin* Arsenal yanks the ripcord, and the drill roars to life. Zhor: Not going to eat any sandwiches in the presence of Dame Dentist. I want my chompers to stay put DrEmpress: hee DrEmpress starts on the wisdom teeth Zhor: :D Arsenal hands Empress the drill. Zhor wonders out loud if a batch of concrete should be made for the fillings, if any Arsenal: Yes. Zhor goes off to make the concrete, and wonders if there is room to back the truck in DrEmpress: Zhor: make sure that it's the type that has many harmonic frequencies... Praxxus: make sure to use 10000 psi Zhor nods Praxxus ponders a NBC bunker in KJ's mandibular area Arsenal pops open a microcapsule, and hands Empress a small device. "By the way, attach this to one of his teeth." DrEmpress looks at the exposed nerve endings KillJoy_ is idly glad that he passed out from the electrical current. DrEmpress twiddles with them Arsenal: "Its a little radio receiver that'll use his whole head as a speaker." DrEmpress: *flickflickflick* DarkSide: summin splash 'im wi' icewater. DrEmpress takes the device. KillJoy_ twitches, even in his unconscious state. DrEmpress implants it imbeded in the nerve. Arsenal: "Icewater? No problem." Zhor drags in the garden hose and offers it to Ars Zhor: Concrete is ready, doctor Arsenal: Garden hose? Too weak. DrEmpress fills the gap over the device with special concrete Arsenal: Get me the fire hose Zhor throws his hands up and gets the fire hose Arsenal: the 5 inch fire hose will work. Zhor drags the fire hose in and hands it to Arsenal Zibblsnrt smacks Ars in the munch ;) Praxxus helps Ars hold the nozzle Arsenal: "Ready?" DrEmpress moves Zhor stands back to avoid getting wet Arsenal opens the nozzle up to half force, spraying KJ across the entire body. Arsenal: "Wait... did anyone remove the jumper cables from his ears?" rob` raises his hand. yep. Zhor: "Ooooops..." Arsenal turns off the water. Praxxus goes...later folks rob`: moo DrEmpress: laters! Arsenal: cya, Praxx Zhor: ta ta *** Signoff: Praxxus (Quit: Zoiks! ...and Away!) KillJoy_ gets all wet... and stuff. Arsenal: Zib: 'tis a Dr. Empress session. Munch and Torture are the order of the day. Arsenal: anyways... Zhor: Gots to go for a few, or a many, bbl DrEmpress returns to the oral oriface of KJ DrEmpress: with a drill. Arsenal: "Doctor, did the patient live?" *** Zhor has left channel #Rift71. KillJoy_ blinks a few times, starts straining against the straps while groaning. DrEmpress blocks the nerves to KJ's tongue DrEmpress: that way he can't mess with the quic-crete KillJoy_: Just so long as you fix it when you're done... DrEmpress: oh it'll wear off in a month or so. DrEmpress writes KJ a prescription for a implanted drool-cup in his lower lip. DrEmpress sets the delayed releas on the straps and clears the theatre of war I mean surgery DrEmpress sounds the klaxons "CLEAR OUT! PATIENT AWAKENING!" KillJoy_ thinks he's just going to sit here on the... no. No, he's going to leave the place of hurting and... yeah. DrEmpress slams the transparent hugely thick cell doors DrEmpress presses the Button KillJoy_ blinks. Scream-moans various unintelligible stuff. DrEmpress watches the straps spring loose from KJ KillJoy_ gets up, wanders around randomly, making odd sounds that have no real meaning. rob` nods. You work as a sysadmin, too? DarkSide: you silly. rob`: the sun is a mass of incandescent gas. KillJoy_: Liar