Praxxus bellows "FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!", and and rapidly departs the area Vryie ducks into her InflatoBunker Praxxus must remember to remove that offending 'and' from his alias DarkSide- isn't paying attention, and gets caught in the blast! DarkSide-: *thudsplat* *gurgle* Medic! Cygnata flies up into the rafters, taking shelter in gryph's nest *** Vryie is now known as DrEmpress DrEmpress: you called? DrEmpress resurrects DS Praxxus: DS: o/~you'll be sorryo/~ DrEmpress: oooh... did you want to be sewn back together first? DarkSide-: *gurgle* DrEmpress looks at many living DSparts DarkSide- 's arm swats at DrE. Praxxus looks over Doc's shoulder..."I'll bet that was really painful..." DrEmpress surveys D'Spartan room DarkSide- pulls himself together. DrEmpress sutures rapidly Praxxus: " now tell us...how painful was that on a scal of 1 to 10 (10 being the most painful), and be honest..." DarkSide-: "Ow... ow... ow.. OW! ... owow.. ow. DarkSide-: " Praxxus: "hey Doc...you forgat a piece.." *holding a foot* DrEmpress quickly *WHAPS* all the assorted DSparts with the #5 Mallet of Anesthesia DarkSide- falls apart again. DrEmpress: *whap*whap*whap*whap*whap*whap*whap* DrEmpress stitches on the foot DarkSide- 's assorted parts all turn into little DSes, like in Army of Darkness. DarkSide- swarms around the room. Praxxus: "waitaminute....isn't that where his ear Praxxus: 's supposed to go?" DrEmpress arranges the parts in a pleasing and orderly arrangement UpLink hands DrE a few tubes of super glue a roll of duct tape DrEmpress gratefully takes the glue and tape DarkSide- scampers under the door. DrEmpress tapes and wraps and glues and sticks and.... *** DarkSide- is now known as DarkSides Praxxus shakes his head and gets the broom and dustpan from the corner.... DarkSides shout, "Bugger off, ye flozzin' quack!" DrEmpress creates a DSMosaic Praxxus: *snicker* DarkSides try to bite DrE. DrEmpress watches his mouth not be where he thinks it is UpLink watches DS gum DrE. "Oh. Are these your teeth?" Sets down the spring and coil gizmo he's working on and lets DS' teeth chatter their way back to him DarkSides: "%#@$!!@#~!" DrEmpress: "It is deeply umber, of a pleasing multiplicity of planes and is a most lovely sculpture. What am I bid for this fine work?" UpLink: "One potato!" Praxxus: "Hey Doc...is that what I think it is....a picture of New York City?" DrEmpress: "One potato, one potato, do I hear two potatoes?" Cygnata: 2! Praxxus: "two potatoes, and a peanut butter cup." UpLink: "One potato, and a neat potato-man hat and pair of lips!" Cygnata: 4 potatos DarkSides mutter. *** DarkSides is now known as DarkSide Praxxus: "I'll see your four taters and raise you a ham hock Praxxus: +" DrEmpress: "Two potatoes and a peanut butter cup, vs one potato and a potatohead hat with lips, vs 4 potatoes...hem" Cygnata: 4 potatos and a pound of peanut brittle! UpLink: "One rutabega!" DarkSide rapid-heals up in the mess he's in, and runs/slithers/crawls/flollops away! Cygnata: +" " DrEmpress: "Ooooh The Dreaded Rutabega! Will anyone top this masterful bid?" Cygnata: "2 rutabegas and kurt!" DarkSide: "I'm not for sale!" MacRae: Uh? Cygnata: *snicker* UpLink looks at his budget, goes for broke. "One bag of assorted bugs and a half-eaten Mars bar!" Cygnata: you didn't say anything... ;) DrEmpress: "Ah, but of course not good sir! We merely auction off this remarkable likeness to your previous form" DrEmpress: "Hrm... assorted bugs... care to clarify the species?" *** Signoff: Praxxus (Ping timeout) DarkSide: 'Ah, yes, but the likeness to my previous form is constructed out of bits of me!" *** Praxxus (Praxxus@209-128-150-61.dial-up.ipa.net) has joined channel #Rift71. DrEmpress: "A very minor technicality, dear sir. You may of course bid for them?" UpLink: "Uh... Three potato beetles, a few catapillers, several dozen fire ants, one dung beetle, and seven or eight polliwogs." Praxxus punts his connection out of the stadium....Grr! DarkSide: "Ha! Polliwogs aren't bugs!" DarkSide: "Forfeit! Forfeit!" DrEmpress: "Ah too bad, gentlesir. I'm afraid the presence of the dung beetle comtaminates your bid." UpLink: "Don't be such a literalist!" UpLink: "GAH! Do you know how long it took to clean that dung beetle?!" Praxxus snickers... DrEmpress: "The half-eaten Mars bar though... that may have some potential... I weigh it in at 2 rutabegas." DarkSide tries to rummage around in his pocket, but realizes it's attached to the side of his head. "Err, I think I have five ounces of pocket lint and three-quarters can of Spam..." DarkSide: "...and a marachino cherry!" Praxxus digs around in his pockets..."Damn, ten lbs of pocket lint and not a single hershey's kiss? What's the world coming to?" UpLink: "Phooey. Can't top the pocket lint." *withdraws his bid* DrEmpress: "SPAM! But only 3/4 can? hrm..." DrEmpress: "It sure is a shame that the bottom dropped out of the lint market last week..." DarkSide: "Oh, wait! The other quarter of the can got sutured to my ankle by mistake!" Praxxus: "hey, I think I've got some fingernail clipping at the house...want me to get em?" DrEmpress: "But for the maraschino cherry... I think I can accept that bid. DrEmpress: "Anyone care to top it?" Praxxus: "leftover lemon-pepper prok chop?" Praxxus: pork shop, that is Praxxus slaughters a typist DrEmpress: "ooh a shop full of unclean meat!" DrEmpress: "The SPAM still tops that" *** Mode change "+o Praxxus" on #Rift71 by Cygnata Praxxus: slightly used Oder Eaters? DrEmpress: "Going once..." DrEmpress: "Going Twice..." Praxxus: thanks, Cyg Cygnata: np DrEmpress: "SOLD for 5lbs of pocket lint, a can of SPAM and a maraschino cherry! Congratulations sir, here are your body parts back." Praxxus: "and here's a reconstruction manual...translated from the original chinese..."